The Gateway to Authentic Influence
Why does anyone walk away from a great job, at an amazing church, with fabulous friends, having just built their dream home in a warm climate? It could only be Insanity. Most days I think its Insanity until I am reminded that it’s something much deeper – Obedience. An obedience that is rooted in Dependence.
We feel so blessed and grateful to have worked at Willow Creek & North Point – Both amazing influential churches that have developed us and prepared us for this great faith adventure that we are on.
I learned a million things from both churches – but honestly – and this is not a commentary on either church – I didn’t really need to depend on Jesus while there. There were always resources and people and buildings and leaders and steady paychecks and benefits – all great things, but at times, I let them keep me from true dependence.
I allowed those things to keep me from the kind of dependence that forces you to your knees regularly wondering if you are insane. Interestingly enough, I am finding that true dependence is an essential gateway to authentic influence.
TRUE DEPENDENCE IS AN ESSENTIAL GATEWAY TO AUTHENTIC INFLUENCE!
No one can have authentic influence, especially an Authentic Cultural Influence, if they are attempting to lead others in a direction that they themselves have not chosen to go towards.
Much like you, I long to have authentic influence with the gospel of Jesus Christ – so God has lovingly afforded me the gateway of doing that through the starting this church. Brilliant.
So what about you? What Is a Gateway of Dependence that God is using in your life that could lead to real Authentic Influence?
Deep Roots in Dry Times
“But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out it’s roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; it’s leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” Jeremiah 17:7-8
Amy Lawlor is a part of the Leadership Team of Soul City Church. She’s making the move from Atlanta to Chicago this Spring to start Soul City. In her spare time Amy is an MMA Fighter. She currently holds the belt in the Women’s Lightweight Division.3 things I learned from 31 days of Fruit and Vegetables
In the month of December Jeanne and I embarked on a 31 day Daniel Fast. If you’re unfamiliar with what a Daniel Fast is, it’s basically committing yourself to eating nothing but Fruit, Vegetables, Legumes, and Water based on this passage from the life of Daniel
“During those days, I, Daniel, went into mourning over Jerusalem for three weeks. I ate only plain and simple food, no seasoning or meat or wine. I neither bathed nor shaved until the three weeks were up. (Daniel 10:2-3, The Message)
Aside from the Not Showering part , we followed the fast as literally as we did dependently. In the midst of Christmas Parties, our own Fund Raiser, and a Giant 5 Gallon Tin of Popcorn from my parents, we stayed true to our fast.
We did it to focus our body, mind, and soul on the presence and provision of God. In a season when we are raising hundreds of thousands of dollars for Soul City Church, we didn’t want to forget where it all comes from and who it all belongs to. It’s one of the most important spiritual discipines I have ever embarked upon and one that I will repeat regularly. Here’s 3 things I learned along the way.
- Satan is real (kinda already knew that) and uses Resistance as one of my Greatest Temptations. The day before the fast, I looked for every possible way I could cut corners, opt out, quit while I was ahead. Jeanne’s response to me was both Simple and Succinct- If you feel that God is telling you not to do this, than I will fully support it. (I don’t think Satan planned on Jeanne M. Stevens)
- Food is the Cause and Solution to all my Problems. In just 31 days I uncovered how deeply rooted is my belief that I am Chief Dispenser of Comfort to my life. And food is where I find comfort. Instead of staying in the tension I escape to whatever “little comfort” will take me away from the place where God tends to do some of his greatest work.
- The thing you are most afraid of, may be the very place God is inviting you…and He will give you the strength you need. This was perhaps the greatest thing I gleamed from God throughout this process. The first two days were hard (slurred speech not being the least of it), but every day after I literally felt like I had exactly what my body needed. I honestly never felt weak or overly hungry. My body was at peace (which had a wonderful ripple effect on my mind and soul). For anyone who’s ever finished a race or an impossible assignment or task, you know what it’s like to step back from it all and say, “Look at what I just did”. Only difference on this one is that I step back and say, “Look at what God just did.”
I am so glad we did it. I am so thankful for what God did in me through it. You may have never fasted before or may be in the middle of one right now. Whatever your exposure and experience with fasting, I am convinced that it is one of the most tangible forms of Transformation we can participate it. The math of the whole thing is brilliant – I take something away, God gives me something greater in it’s place. I would highly recommend that you ask God the simple question after reading this post – “Father, what are you inviting me to let go of so I can better cling to you?”
The question is NOT whether or not God is inviting you to Fast, but rather WHAT is HE inviting you to Fast from.
Anyone can do ANYTHING with Money…
Overheard a great quote from Mike Michalowicz today that is so true for life and SOOOO true for the Start Up phase that Soul City is in right now.
“Anyone can do anything with money. What can YOU do without?
What a brilliant reminder for us personally and for whatever Business or Church Endeavor you find yourself in. The comforting deception is that “If we just had more (or some) money we could…”
- …Reach more people in our city.
- …Hire more people to do more work.
- …Get out of all this debt.
- …Be able to give more as a family.
- …No longer worry about NOT having money.
You fill in the blank.
But the naging question remains – “What can you do without?” What can you do without money that people with money can’t do? What kinda faith and creativity and ingenuity might God be trying to squeeze out of you in the absence of having all that you think you need?
Money is nothing to God. He could give you all that you need and then some. So money is not the point. Faithfulness. Obedience. Dependence. Sacrifice. Creativity. That stuff that is priceless. And all the money in the world can’t get you that. But not having it…that may be the only thing in this season that affords you the things that God desires most.
So – What is one thing you have done or are doing that is GREAT in your family, business, or church without the supposed luxury of money? We’d love to hear your stories…
Borrowing Faith
I’m starting to believe that God lovingly pushes us to the very edge, the very limit of our faith so that we are forced to borrow Faith from Him. This is the reality that we have begun living in ever since we said yes to God’s idea for this Church.
We are living at a level of Faith in God these days that we have never lived at before in our entire lives…and yet…it still doesn’t feel like enough. When we look at all that has to happen each day for Soul City Church to simply get off the ground, we are floored and overwhelmed. We simply don’t see a way to raise all the money we have to raise through the BE Campaign. We simply don’t see a way that we are going to be able to sell our house. We simply don’t see a way that we are going to find a home in the city where our family can thrive. We simply don’t see a way for all those moving to Chicago with us to start Soul City to be able work through all these exact same details in THIER lives. We simply don’t see a way.
But we live by faith, not by what we see. ((2 cor. 5:7))
And that is exactly where OUR faith comes to an end and GOD’s faith steps in. I don’t know how it all works in God’s economy, but it seems like the very faith it requires to believe IN can only come FROM him. He is the one who gives me the faith to actually believe in him at all. And every time my faith grows weak and my sight grows strong, I am invited back to his office to take out another loan. To borrow against my lack of faith. To leverage my life as collateral. To take one more step forward, following him. This is how God grows our faith, by planting the very seed himself.
This is where we’re living these days. This is where we’ve ALL been invited by God to live. No matter what we see, this is the faith God longs to give us.
So. Where is God lovingly pushing you to Borrow Faith from Him these days?
A 3″D” Relationship with God (pt. 3) – Discipline
The third “D” to a 3- D life with God is Discipline. I’m sure the very word produces a response in you. The reason I know that is because it produces a response in me – and most of the time if I am honest the response has something to do with guilt.
For many of us the story of Discipline has a common thread woven throughout our different experiences. You desire to be physically healthy – but you’re unwilling to work hard at it. You desire to know God’s Word – but you are unwilling to discipline yourself to set aside a time in the day to focus on reading and meditating on it. You desire to be financially free – but are not willing to say no to the designer jeans that everyone else has. You desire to be patient with your kids – but when you have found yourself saying 15 times “Please – share with your Sister” – it’s on the 16th time that unfortunately you loose our cool.
There are so many things that I desire to do in my lifetime – but at times I am just plain unwilling to put the hard discipline to the test to make it happen. But desire without discipline usually turns into dead dreams. It’s in the small and the big moments of life that I need discipline when I want that iced lemon loaf at Starbucks that would go so well with my coffee…to the courage that comes from disciplining myself to work hard at raising all of the necessary funds to start Soul City Church.
I was reading in proverbs today and this simple verse jumped out…
- “Slack habits & Sloppy work are as bad as vandalism”
- Proverbs 18:9
Wow – do I really believe that – do I really believe that my sloppy and flabby disciplines are as damaging to the personal property of my soul, as vandalism is to a building or home. I would be crushed if someone came into my home with a baseball bat and ripped through my rooms destroying what has become a sacred space for me and my family. I would be angry, sad, hurt, and would probably desire a certain amount of justice to be served.
Why don’t I have equally strong emotions when it comes to my sloppy disciplines. A vibrant and transforming relationship with God will require not a sloppy discipline – but one that is fueled with a steadfast faithfulness and commitment to the task of training your soul to do what was originally put within it to do.
So why don’t you try this simple exercise :: God I will discipline myself to….
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Here is what I wrote:
God I will discipline myself to have some significant conversations this week with some key people that are in the process of praying about their connection to Soul City Church. God I will discipline myself to drink more water – I confess my love of coffee – but I know coffee all day is not good for my body! God I will discipline myself to put my cell phone and laptop away from 4:30 – 8:00 so that I am present with my family. God I will discipline myself in my writing this week – I will complete a chapter by Monday. Because I believe that desire without discipline usually turns into nothing more than dead dreams.
a 3 “D” Relationship with God (pt. 2)
(part 2 of 3)
Somewhere along the way being FINE became our facade for spiritually mature. Many of us have believed a dreadful lie that it’s better to cut ourselves off from desire – than to actually live into the depth of all that we long for in life. When someone asks how we are doing we robotically puke our canned response “I’m doing fine – How are you?” Most of the time I think we are just waiting for the other person to return our question with the same response… “Thanks for asking – I’m doing Fine also.”
What would you do if someone responded to your question with – “I am in the middle of pleading for God to give me the deepest desires of my heart – it is overwhelming, filled with raw emotion, sometimes I am anxious and afraid, I honestly wonder what I will do if this doesn’t happen, etc….how are you?” Most of us have a hard time living that deep into our desires – or if we do we struggle with feeling like our desires reveal immaturity – instead of maturity. But desire is essential in our life if we long to live completely ALIVE in Jesus.
I love what John Eldridge says in his book, “Desire“
“Why are we so embarrassed by our desire? Why do we pretend we’re doing fine, thank you, that we don’t need a thing? The persistent widow wasn’t too proud to seek help. Neither was the psalmist. Their humility allowed them to express their desire. How little we come to God with what really matters to us. How rare it is that we even admit it to ourselves. We don’t pray like Jesus because we don’t allow ourselves to be nearly so alive. We don’t allow ourselves to feel how desperate our situation truly is. We sense that our desire will undo us if we let it rise up in all its fullness. Wouldn’t it be better to bury the disappointment and the yearning and just get on with life? As Larry Crabb has pointed out, pretending seems a much more reliable road to Christian maturity. The only price we pay is a loss of soul, of communion with God, a loss of direction, and a loss of hope.”
I (Jeanne) am realizing that to step out onto the wobbly faith limb of starting this church has been one of the greatest movements that could have happened in our life. I no longer go through any kind of canned motion when it comes to my desires. I am acutely aware of my desires every day and it has allowed me to live in a healthy desperation for God.
So why don’t you try this spiritual exercise – Finish the thought, “God my deepest desires are…”
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Here is what I wrote
- God I desire for you to lead me towards the people that you have already prepared to be a part of soul city church. Increase my desire to trust that you will direct and prompt them and that I won’t need to convince or beg people to come. God I desire for you to regularly surprise me with the provision of our financial resources for our family and for Soul City Church – increase my desire for sacrifice. God I desire for you to simply sell our house. God I desire to be more humble, honest, and bold in my leadership. God I desire to be more patient, fun, and silly with my kids this week.
We would love for you to leave a comment with what YOU put in that space of DESIRE. It is such a simple exercise and such a good reminder to not let DESIRE die in your life.
And make sure to check back over the next few days to hear how DESIRE works together with Discipline and Dependence.
A 3 “D” relationship with God
(Part 1 of 3)
Jarrett often makes fun of my need to have words that start with the same letter when I teach – but the truth is that I am so forgetful that I often don’t’ even remember what I’ve taught if it isn’t simple. So having alliterations may seem like its straight from the creative genius of Sesame Street – but it works for me. That being said, I believe that there are 3 D’s that are critical to a healthy relationship with God.
Depend, Desire, & Discipline are the 3 closest companions to those waiting on God. Whenever I am in a significant season of waiting or when I am seeking God to reveal His direction in my life I hang out with Dependence, Desire & Discipline. Like three old friends – when one of them is missing – something is clearly off. All three are needed in the process of growth and waiting.
Depending on God is crucial to waiting. When we depend we essentially are saying, “I trust you God, I trust your process, I trust your timing, & I trust your outcome.” When I depend I release my own abilities to make something happen. To let go of that old self of cruise ship activities director of my life – always making something happen. Instead I trust and meditate on things that are ALWAYS true about God and that are not always true about me.
- God is ALWAYS in control
- God is ALWAYS present
- God is ALWAYS loving
- God is ALWAYS honest
- God is ALWAYS faithful
- God is ALWAYS good
Maybe today you can do a simple spiritual exercise to remind you of who God ALWAYS is. Fill in the following Blank:
I depend on you God to…
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What would it say? What does it need to say? Here is what I wrote in my blank…
“I depend on you God to provide all of the crucial leaders and volunteers that are needed to help launch and lead Soul City Church. I depend on you to provide all of the financial resources that are needed to start and sustain Soul City Church. I depend on you to provide a space for Soul City Church to meet in. I depend on you to sell our house so that we can get to Chicago.”
We would love for you to leave a comment with what you put in that space of Dependemce. It is such a simple excercise and such a good reminder of who God ALWAYS is and who we don’t have to try and be.
And make sure to check back over the next few days to hear how Dependence works with Discipline and Desire.
Either way, we find ourselves in tears…
The journey of launching Soul City Church has completely revolutionized our relationship with God. Never in our lives have we lived so utterly dependent on God. Better put – Never in our lives have we lived more AWARE of our dependence on God.
Our days end with Jeanne and I physically on our knees before God. That time together in prayer typically tends to go one of two ways. We find ourselves in tears because…
- We simply can not see how all of our needs are going to be met personally, as a family, and as a church.
- or because…
- God blows away our small expectations of His goodness and ability to meet exceedingly more than we are even able to ask for.
Either way we find ourselves in tears.
As odd as it may seem. we are becoming increasingly grateful for the dichotomous swing between fear and faith. We are learning to love living life this way. Fully aware of all of our fears, concerns, and challenges. Fully dependent on God. We often wonder how we went so long without living at this level of daily dependence. And the more we experience it, the more we can’t imagine living life any other way.
Success is the Enemy of…(fill in the blank)
We’re not gonna lie, we hope to be incredibly successful as a church. We want the work that we do with God to have the highest SROI (Spiritual Return On Investment) possible.
That being said, we know that Success defined the wrong way and measured by the wrong standards can be one of the worst things for a Church, Organization, and Individual. Here’s a few examples of what we mean.
- Success can be the Enemy of DEPENDENCE
- It doesn’t take long for us to look at all that God has done and begin to say, “Look at all that WE have done.” Our Successful Systems subtly become what we put our faith in. And the more that people think we know what we’re doing, the more we think we do as well.
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- Success can be the Enemy of CLARITY
- The more you successfully accomplish, the more you begin to believe you can and should do…more. Before long you’ve added so much to your vision that you’re not even sure what it is you’re supposed to do other than spinning the impossible number of plates that occupy your thoughts and efforts
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- Success can be the Enemy of INNOVATION
- There is a living graveyard of Companies and Churches that made their mark 10, 20, 30 years ago doing something truly innovative for a time. For whatever reason, they made “that thing” – “their thing” and continued to do what once worked well until it no longer worked at all.
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- Success can be the Enemy of HUMILITY
- File this one under No Brainer. It is one of the most tragically inevitable outcomes of success. Too cliche to go into great detail. As soon as you believe you are as important as your success has led you to think you are, success has become your enemy.
Fill In The Blank :: Success can be the Enemey of… (and WHY?)
The Turning
Jesus had a beautiful way of taking ordinary items and turning them into the extraordinary. At a wedding he took some ordinary water and quickly turned it into wine. While on a hillside he took a young boys lunch of a couple fish & loaves and turned it into a complete all-you-can-eat buffet for the masses that were gathered to hear him teach. We have been experiencing this kind of “Turning” throughout the process of launching Soul City Church. God is taking the things that have become ordinary in our lives and is turning them into extraordinary growth.
We have walked with Jesus for many years and we have devoted ourselves to ministry – but just like every other human being we often find ourselves having fear about the future – leaning into our propensity to want to control life – and clinging to our selfish desires for comfort. It has almost become a daily experience where God will take our developed and far to ordinary skills of fear, control, and comfort and invite us into an opportunity for him to turn it into extraordinary growth.
God has been taking our fear about the future, finances, and finding a facility and He consistently has invited us to allow Him to turn it into faith.
God has been taking our desire to control the housing market, the details in our team building, the timing of how it all comes together, and He consistently has invited us to allow Him to turn it into trust.
God has been taking our desire for comfort as we leave our home, say good-bye to dear friends, and move to the unknown – God has invited us to allow Him to turn it into joyful sacrifice.
God loves to turn things around…
Where does God need to…
- Turn your Fear into faith
- Turn your desire to Control into Trust
- Turn addiction to Comfort into Sacrifice?
…will you let him?
